Guilt

Notes

Most often we feel guilt or shame when we are blamed (either by others or by ourselves) for something bad that we had done when we could have done differently, indicating our sense of Agency.

We should distinguish between guilt that arises from real damage that we have caused in the world, to feeling guilty over things that are either imaginary or not in our control. This second type stems from our Subjective Reality, we fail to see reality as it is, so we add to it layers of Judgment and interpretation that might even not be positive.

We are very bad at being objective, which causes the sense of guilt to exist without real justification. It can result from states of Ambiguity, for example, when have we done enough? what is our standard of measuring whether we were successful or whether we failed others?

It can also result from unfair comparisons. For example if in the past you had time to do x, and now you don't, it would be unfair for you to expect yourself to reach the same standard. You always have to set your Expectations in accordance with reality Acceptance.

Shame is a very powerful emotion, perhaps even more than fear because we are social beings. We intuitively care about others opinion of us, so we will do almost anything to avoid being shamed, even at the price of self harm like loosing Authenticity, or at the price of creating an even bigger lie just to cover up your shameful acts (which will ultimately result in more shame and pain once the truth will come out).

Additionally, the more we care about our Ego, the more sensitive we become to shame.

Visual

Overview

🔼Topic:: Emotions (MOC) ◀Origin:: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos 🔗Link:: Source