Expectations

Notes

Claim

our mental state / level of our happiness is dependent not on the objective facts of our reality, but rather our Subjective perception filters how we see external reality and our perceptions. We see the world not through objective lens but rather through the Narratives shape perception and identity by constructing subjective reality we tell ourselves.

Explanation

Since we are capable of forming predictions, we sometimes treat them as an absolute fact despite not happening it. If we predict that something will happen, we expect it to happen, which means our baseline has already shifted simply by thinking about it. In both cases, we set ourselves a bar that shows how great the distance between who we are and who we "should" be Comparing ourselves to others damages wellbeing and progress. Similarly, when others expect something of us, it is as if in their eyes this is who we are, and now it is up to us to become the person they want (or dictate) us to be, regardless on how we view ourselves and what we believe is right for us Confusing current reality with how things should be blocks change.

Why it matters

Getting less than expected will lead to unhappiness, while getting more than expected will lead to happiness. The obvious conclusion is similar to Stoicism teaches detachment from external events to maintain inner freedom which recommends lowering our expectations as low as possible, to be both best prepared and the most satisfied when in reality things will be better than expected. This is how to beat the Adaptation returns happiness to baseline regardless of life changes that creates a baseline based on our expectations.

Examples

Supporters

That is because expectations are a natural process of human thinking, and we become too attached to it as if it already exists. When we fail to live up to these Perfectionism paralyzes action through unattainable standards expectations, we often feel stressed frustrated and Burnout is chronic exhaustion from overwhelming demands, and might even revert to a Fixed mindset assumes capabilities are unchangeable from birth, thinking that if we fail one thing we will fail them all.

Opposers

However, it is very difficult to avoid giving too much credit to expectations, whether internal or externals.

Open questions

Visual

Overview

🔼Topic:: Happiness (Nature and Sources) ◀Origin:: Behave (book) 🔗Link::