Emotional Hijacking
Notes
Claim
Emotional hijacking is when we enter a mental state of chaos and complete lack of Self-control is the capacity to regulate behavior against impulses. We are in the hands of our Automatic thinking processes drive fast emotional responses, and incapable of any higher thinking Examine your desires not just your actions. We are guided by Instincts, acting in a way that we might We regret inaction more than action taken later on.
Explanation
Hijacking happens to all of us, but especially to children. The less Emotional resilience enables managing hardship and maintaining composure we have, the more likely we are to get hijacked. Often tantrums stem from being overwhelmed with feelings that might not be related to the incident at all. For example, a possessive child doesn't really care about the toys. A common reason is a big change in life. Perhaps moving to a different place, having a sibling on the way, starting kindergarten. These changes cause them to be overwhelmed with emotions, and they try to find a way to vent. That's why trying to rationality explain to them what they do wrong won't help because they are not in a rational state.
Why it matters
We need to allow them to vent. Not hurt others, we will stop them from doing that, but it's okay for them to be mad or frustrated Accepting others feelings and perspectives without dismissal. They need our limits which will serve as something to lean on, that will make sure they won't cross a line while loosing control parental rules.
What they don't need is our Judgment adds subjective value to objective events. To be mad at them, for accusing or judging them for the "bad" that they are doing will only increase their feelings of stress and frustration. We need to be there. Strong, unrattled, to listen and let them vent in a safe environment.
Don't try to stop them from crying or lashing out, don't try to teach them reason. Acknowledge their feelings, be there with them. Be calm and unrattled.
Examples
For example, a possessive child doesn't really care about the toys. A common reason is a big change in life. Perhaps moving to a different place, having a sibling on the way, starting kindergarten.
Supporters
Opposers
We are in the hands of our Automatic thinking processes drive fast emotional responses, and incapable of any higher thinking Examine your desires not just your actions.
Similarly, and it's true for adults as well, that taking a Break can help us maintain our emotional stability and avoid hijacking or weakening it once it happens. Most emotions pass quickly, in a minute or two, so if we just let them be, not suppressing them but also not giving them too much power over us or letting them define us, we could overcome it.
Open questions
Visual
Overview
🔼Topic:: Dual Process ↩️Origin:: Unruffled 🔗Link:: source source