Don't Jump to the Rescue
Notes
If we truly want to help someone, we should not always jump to their rescue every time they feel that they're in a crisis, this is because:
- Agency - - a person who learns that someone else is always their to fix their problems either won't believe in their own Competence, won't develop it because they hadn't had a chance to practice it, or won't think it's relevant to try because they are not used to the concept of Life Embracing in their own lives. They won't have Agency in their lives because we take it from them by solving their problems. Also, they would lack Self esteem, because by rescuing them we act as if they are incompetent and can't save themselves. We are teaching them to be helpless
- Empathy - when we jump quickly to the logical side, trying to solve problems as a form of care, we fail to connect with the other person, to truly listen to them, understand them and share their pain, we ignore it and focus completely on the problem, skipping the interaction entirely. Most often what other's need most from us is Validation, not problem solving
In the end, while you perhaps have the best intentions in the world, to solve someone's problems is a form of Micro-Management, with all the damages it brings. It is also similar to a Short term bias, we prefer to have a quick fix right now, than help them solve it themselves so that they will be more capable later on.
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🔼Topic:: Relationships 🔼Topic:: Education (MOC) ↩️Origin:: 🔗Link::