Coping
Notes
Claim
Coping methods are ways we handle/perceive the world, usually to avoid pain that emanates from certain experiences.
Explanation
To take an extreme example, religion often helps us deal with loss because we believe it was ordained by god, that there is somehow a good reason for it, and we let go of constantly asking ourselves why and drowning in Despair.
Why it matters
This trade-off matters because it compounds. When a coping mechanism stops being an occasional relief valve and becomes the default response, it can escalate into Addiction is escapism that destroys self-control, where the thing that once helped us cope ends up controlling us instead.
Examples
However, not all coping strategies are of equal worth. Some are more harmful, like Escapism is withdrawing from difficulty through distraction and avoidance, where we decide to avoid experiences all together and focus on something that makes the pain go away, even if momentarily.
Similarly, Victim mentality is another, because it allows us to shift the blame from us to the outside world. It too avoids the tough questions of what have I done wrong and what can I do better.
Lastly, Pessimism is focusing attention on negative outcomes and threats is another coping mechanism, to avoid the frightening uncertainty of the world, we believe that the worst outcome will always prevail, so that we are not "surprised" when it happens. This fake sense of control is the benefit of pessimism.
Alternatively, one can think about more positive coping mechanisms, for example Obstacles as stepping stones, where we focus on learning and growing from harmful experiences.
Supporters
Denial is choosing a false view to avoid painful truths is a clean case of the trade — refusing to accept a hard truth buys a moment of peace, at the cost of never actually addressing what caused the pain in the first place.
Opposers
Not every response to hardship fits the trade-off, though. Emotional resilience enables managing hardship and maintaining composure suggests we can process difficult emotions directly, without numbing or avoiding them, and come out of it stronger rather than further behind.