Blame

Notes

Claim

When we blame others, it's a sign that we fail to accept that we can't control others, that we can only control ourselves. We operate with certain rules in places, binding others without their knowledge Humans compulsively seek patterns and meaning even in chaos.

Explanation

We feel as if we own something, like we deserve certain outcomes, or behaviors, so shift our Expectations shape wellbeing through the gap between desires and reality accordingly as if they would happen for certain, which leads to Disappointment is the gap between expectations and reality when reality is different than we wanted it to be. We treat as if the world revolves ourselves, not even thinking about the possibility of others having different viewpoints, ideas or values.

Why it matters

It turns us into victims, by shifting the focus from "what can we do about it " Taking active control rather than accepting circumstances passively to "why I am right" Conformation bias makes us accept confirming evidence without scrutiny. It nullifies the power of our emotions as catalysts for action because we rage without changing our lives, only pushing us towards Depression is chronic despair from helplessness and lost meaning. We place the Responsibility is binding yourself to outcomes and people you value for solving the situation entirely on the other party, while thinking that we are completely in the right

When we forgive, it is for our own benefit as much as it is for the other party. It frees us to move on, to accept the life we have and letting go of the life we wanted that would never happen.

Blame focuses on the past, we want to focus on the future instead. What can we do about the situation, and how we can reduce such cases in the future. How do we need to change or act differently, as much (or more) than others do.

Examples

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Open questions

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Overview

🔼Topic:: Attribution Bias ↩️Origin:: Hidden Brain 🔗Link:: link