Don't Jump to the Rescue
Notes
Claim
If we truly want to help someone, we should not always jump to their rescue every time they feel that they're in a crisis.
Explanation
This is because:
- Agency - a person who learns that someone else is always their to fix their problems either won't believe in their own Competence is developed through practice not innate talent, won't develop it because they hadn't had a chance to practice it, or won't think it's relevant to try because they are not used to the concept of Life Embracing in their own lives. They won't have Agency is the ability to connect desires and actions in their lives because we take it from them by solving their problems. Also, they would lack Self esteem, because by rescuing them we act as if they are incompetent and can't save themselves. We are teaching them to be helpless
- Empathy - when we jump quickly to the logical side, trying to solve problems as a form of care, we fail to connect with the other person, to truly listen to them, understand them and share their pain, we ignore it and focus completely on the problem, skipping the interaction entirely. Most often what other's need most from us is Accepting others feelings and perspectives without dismissal, not problem solving
Why it matters
In the end, while you perhaps have the best intentions in the world, to solve someone's problems is a form of Micro-management restricts autonomy and inhibits growth, with all the damages it brings. It is also similar to a Short term bias, we prefer to have a quick fix right now, than help them solve it themselves so that they will be more capable later on.
Examples
Supporters
Opposers
Open questions
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Overview
🔼Topic:: Scaffolded Growth ↩️Origin:: 🔗Link::