Communication (MOC)

Notes

Communication is all about out interactions with others. How do we deliver thoughts, beliefs and desires to others, by which methods, what are our goals in those interactions, and how can we do it better.

Goals in Communication

What are we trying to get in the conversations? First of all, not always do we have a goal in communication. Communication is in our nature Negotiation is an act of connection, whether for simple social connection or a way to pass the time. But more often than not, we communicate in order to convey information to one another. A positive perspective would be to see communication as a way to promote Cooperation and find win win situations

Types of Communication

Communication is based partially on the way we communicate with others:

1. non verbal communication - We are built to deliver and detect non verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions.
2. Storytelling - We remember stores much better than we remember dry information. To present an idea non necessarily chronologically, but in a way that delivers a compelling story
3. Deliberation - A discussion around an idea, usually in a large setting such as a meeting, a panel, etc.
4. Signaling - A one-way communication by which we display something that indicates our status, our beliefs, our knowledge.
5. Apology - when we experience remorse on what we've done
6. Feedback - when we try to give advices and improve someone's behavior
7. Persuasion - when we try to convince the other side

Also, it is based on who we communicate with: 2. Relationships - Repeated communication with someone who we are deeply invested in, care about, and wish to continue the connection to 3. Weak Ties - Those who we know from different social circles and maintain a low commitment level of communication

How to Communicate Better

1. Vulnerability - We could not connect to others without being authentic and open about who we are. When others see us raising our walls, they do the same. That's why it is best to do an Accusation audit
2. Active Listening - Instead of just focusing on what we want to say, we should truly listen to the other side, understand their point of view, show interest.
3. Framing - create a shared language around the topic you are discussing
4. Boundaries - Don't trust that your thoughts are clear to the other, be explicit about them, specifically those about your preferences
5. Mirroring - Share the other's body language
6. Trust - believe that the other side is truthful and acts out of good motives
7. Transparency - Be truthful about your intentions and the information you hold
8. Small Talk - be interested, take you time before answering, ask questions
9. people are not the problem - remember that you both face a shared problem, instead of confronting each other
10. Validation - recognize and acknowledge the feelings, beliefs and views of the other side
11. positive language - focus on what can be done, on opportunities, on expanding mindset instead of just saying no
12. Open ended questions - reply with open ended questions that allow for more depth and understanding
13. Consent - every step in a relationship should be based on consent

Harmful communications

1. Gaslighting - when we cancel the other side and discredit their ideas, beliefs or personality

Books

110 Fallacies (book) Calling Bullshit (book) Made to Stick (book) The 5 Love Languages (book) Never Split The Difference (book)

Other MOC