The Montessori Toddler

🔗Connect

🔼Topic:: Education (MOC)

✒️ Note-Making

💡Clarify

🔈 Summary of main ideas

1. Let them lead - instead of trying to mold them, we should encourage them to fulfill their potential how they see fit. To not interfere with their learning enthusiasm, and only create a supportive environment for them to explore freely.

🗒️Relate

⛓ Life lessons, action items

🔍Critique

✅ by following this method, what will happen? More independent developed child - by letting them the freedom to explore, and include them in our lives, they will be much more motivated to learn and will fulfill their potential

❌ the logical jumps, holes or simply cases where it is wrong...

🧱 Implementations and limitations of it are... Is this method really revolutionary? The theoretical background is hardly even there, and based on "punishment is bad, molding is bad". There is little to no research backing this, and it's more like a brochure for Montessori schools rather than actual educational improvement.

🗨️Review

💭 my opinions on the book, the writers style... This book is highly repetitive and thin in content. Most of it is a collection of activities, more fitting to an article rather than a book.

I personally don't like "index books", so maybe it's my fault, but that makes them so irrelevant because it turns them into a collection of posts rather than one arching theme that takes a book to develop

📒 Notes

Introduction

We see toddlers as the "terrible twos", but when we really look at them, toddlers are:

1. Fast learners
2. Capable
3. Authentic
4. Innocent (not mean) and don't hold a grudge
5. Impulsive

When we look at what they need, they need:

1. Freedom to say no and communicate supporting independence
2. Freedom to explore and move
3. Limits parental rules
4. Order and consistency
5. Time to process and respond
6. Be a contributing part of the family developing capabilities

Toddlers are not trying to give us a hard time, it's a sign that they're having a hard time. Hanlon's Razor

In the Montessori approach, we see children as who they are, not who we want them to be, and we don't try to mold them, but rather help them become who they wish to be.

INTRODUCTION

• When limits are not consistent, toddlers will keep testing them to see what we decide today. If they find it works to nag or melt down, they will try again. This is called intermittent reinforcement. (Location 273)
• Toddlers are not giving us a hard time. They are having a hard time. (Location 278)
• Toddlers need time to process what we are saying. Instead of repeatedly telling our child to put on their shoes, we can count to ten in our head to allow them time to process our request. Often, by the time we get to eight, we’ll see them start to respond. (Location 284)
• It’s about encouraging a child’s curiosity, learning to really see and accept a child as they are, without judgment, and remaining connected with the child, even when we need to stop them from doing something they really want to do. (Location 301)
• we see the child as their own person on their own unique path. We support them as their guide and gentle leader. They aren’t something to be molded into what we see as their potential or to make up for our own experiences or unfulfilled desires as a child. (Location 305)
• This is the Montessori way. We are planting the seeds that are our toddlers, providing the right conditions for them, adjusting when needed, and watching them grow. The direction their lives take will be of their own making. (Location 308)

Introduction to Montessori

The mindset is to let the child be in charge of their own education and growth path. We are there to create an environment that will be the best support for them as possible. It will be a "yes space", with all the resources they should want.

For example, if the toddler begins to climb on furniture, we will create a "ninja course" in the yes space. We would lay down toys and books but it's their choice to decide how to spend their time and what to interact with.

This is the best way to maintain their curiosity and intrinsic motivation. It's a life as flow kind of parenting. That doesn't mean we won't set limits. Harmful actions are always prohibited, but other than that they are free to choose and explore.

INTRODUCTION TO MONTESSORI

• In Montessori education there is a dynamic relationship between the child, the adult, and the learning environment. The child is in charge of their own learning, supported by the adult and the environment. (Location 369)
• The discoveries children make for themselves—particularly within a prepared environment—build wonder in the child and a love of learning. They do not need to be directed to explore the environment. (Location 400)
• At home, we can give them freedom to choose what they want to wear (as long as it’s appropriate for the season), the freedom to make their own snack (as long as they sit down to eat), and the freedom to express themselves (as long as they do not hurt others or objects in the home). (Location 496)
• Through independence the child learns how to be responsible for caring for themselves, others, and the environment. (Location 510)

Montessori Activities for Toddlers

The goal of Montessori activities is to develop one skill from start to end.

The goal is to present the activities in an attractive manner, not stored away in a box, and let them choose and interact with it how they wish. Don't disturbed them and try to avoid showing them the "solution" Dont Jump to the Rescue, instead offer clues and only if they ask for it. They need to learn that part of the activity is the clean up afterwards.

The main skills we should develop (by dedicated activities, listed in the book):

1. Hand eye coordination
2. Music and movement
3. Practice daily life
4. Arts and crafts
5. Language

Point 3 is crucial. Since from early as age 12 months, the child can help around the house, and they want to. We have to be inclusive, patient and remember that they will do it slower and worse than we would have done ourselves, but this is crucial for development and especially to take load off you later when they grow. patience

Setting up the home

The home should be welcoming, accommodating, and adjusted for the toddler. Things relevant to them (such as craft material, books, games and even self care) should be at their height. They should be tables/chairs/mirrors at their height.

Every room should be adjusted as much as possible to the toddler.

The home should be a "yes" space, where the child can explore freely, and we won't have to worry either about safety or permissions to move around or touch things.

Raising a Curious Child

To help them develop their curiosity, we should:

1. Trust and follow their lead
2. Have a supportive environment
3. Take time, slow down
4. Include them in daily life
5. Observe and praise effort

Accept them as who they are validation, remember that all feelings are acceptable, even if some behavior isn't.

Remove your Judgment, be the narrator, the translator. Try to understand them without assuming you know what they mean. Give them the words to describe how they feel

Nurturing Cooperation and Responsibility in Our Child

Instead of treating it as a "me vs them" problem, we need to see it as a "us vs problem". When there's a conflict, ask them to come up with a solution, find a win win situations. Allow them to make age appropriate decisions. Make them part of the decision making process of the day.

Limits should be clear, and we should be consistent about it. Crossing the limit should have a logical implication, not as a punishment, but that's how they will understand cause and effect.

References the connect and redirect from The Whole-Brain Child (book).

Nurturing cooperation and responsibility in our child

• Threats, bribes, and punishments are extrinsic motivations. The child may cooperate to avoid a punishment or to get a sticker or some ice cream. But that kind of discipline rarely has a long-term effect. It is a quick fix, if it works at all. It can also be a distraction from the issue at hand. (Location 2053)
• Each time we are challenged by our child, we can see it as a teaching opportunity for us and a learning opportunity for them. (Location 2067)

Putting it into Practice

It's all about consistency, having rituals, habits and relatively fixed schedules so that the child knows what to expect and what are the guide lines.

This section contains recommendations about eating, sleeping, getting dressed, toileting, pacifiers and siblings.

Also more recommendations on behavioral issues such as sharing, clinginess, frustration.

Being the Adult

To take good care of others, we have to take good care of ourselves, both physically and mentally. If it means having some "me time", moving around, practicing gratitude and mindfulness, have self compassion and learn from our mistakes rather than letting them define us.

Working together

You are never alone. Remember to leave time for your relationships, to share your emotions and communicate effectively. If you are a supporter of a parent, ask yourself how could you offer comfort in a non intrusive way.

Bringing Peace

Remember that every child is different. When we take this comment to it's limit, we understand that it's all about diversity, between people, nations, ideas. We all need to come together