The Happiest Baby on the Block

🔗Connect

🔼Topic:: Education (MOC)

✒️ Note-Making

💡Clarify

🔈 Summary of main ideas

1. Born too soon - Babies are born 3 months "too soon" because physical limits of size during birth. When they are born, they posses only the most basic of survival instincts and still miss the safe environment of the womb.
2. Relaxation reflex - Every baby is imbued with a relaxation reflex that can be triggered when we simulate the womb. This can turn never ending cries in minutes, using these techniques:
   1. Swaddling - wrapping up the baby (using the DUDU or similar technique), while keeping the feet relatively free and the hands straight and close to the chest. Should be used in every nap and sleep time and up to four months of age.
   2. Side/stomach - Lying them on your hands or legs on the side or on the stomach can reduces feelings of "falling". This should not be attempted as a sleeping position
   3. Shushing - Babies are used to being (and sleeping) in a noisy low-pitch environment, like an air dryer constantly working. By using white noise or "shushing" next to the ear we can calm them down. Should be used in every nap or sleep time up to one year, up to 65 decibels.
   4. Swinging - gentle movements by just an inch can imitate the constant movement in the womb
   5. Sucking - Feeding is one of the most primal baby's instincts. Using a pacifier can maintain the calming reflex for a long time, and should be used after calming them down, during sleep and up to 6 or 7 months. Also, use only after breast feeding habit is settled down.

🗒️Relate

⛓ Life lessons, action items

🔍Critique

✅ by following this method, what will happen? Happier and calmer parent that can sleep more and experience less stress and fatigue from endless crying.

❌ the logical jumps, holes or simply cases where it is wrong...

🧱 Implementations and limitations of it are...

🗨️Review

💭 my opinions on the book, the writers style... One of the most redundant books in terms of length, such little content over so many pages

🖼️Outline

📒 Notes

Introduction

Babies are "born too soon", the first three months after birth can be considered as the forth trimester when they are still developing as a fetus.

That's why imitating the womb can be very relaxing for them. The technique offered is the 5 "S's":

1. Swaddling - snug wrapping
2. Side/stomach position - lying them on side or stomach with supervision
3. Shushing - strong white noises
4. Swinging - just an inch back and forth
5. Sucking - on a breast, clean finger or pacifier

INTRODUCTION

• Rhythmic, womb-like sound, motion, and touch must trigger an automatic reflex…but this calming reflex only works if done exactly right. (Location 167)

Why Babies Cry

Why Babies Cry, and Why Some Cry So Much

• Screaming does not have to go on for hours. And what’s even more concerning, when left unchecked, nonstop crying can trigger serious problems, (Location 249)

Babies: a New Insight

Babies are born underdeveloped because of their brain, if it was any bigger it wouldn't fit. They can't do any basic functions, not even smile.

They "should have been" in the womb and continue developing but it's psychically impossible. This is also why try often cry, not because they are hungry, tired, or wet, they just miss the womb. However we can simulate the wombs environment to trigger a relaxation reflex. That's how we can end what could potentially last hours of endless crying in just a minute, if done right.

Use the 5 S's to trigger that reflex. One step is not enough, and it's best to do them in order, for example start with swaddling.

Crying: Our Infants Ancient Survival Tool

Crying was developed as a tool to gain attention, but it is not yet a way for communication. The baby is not aware that they are sending you signals, they react out of instinct as if expressing their emotions to themselves children crying.

That's why we shouldn't ignore their cries. It's not about them being clingy, or teaching them to be strong. Only after nine months we can start to talk about cries for attention. That's why we should always respond to a cry Dont Jump to the Rescue, because it can only teach them love and warmth, and create a bond between you and the baby Relationships.

It's hard to determine what a cry is about. All cries sound the same, but it might be accompanied by body signals non verbal communication.

For example:

1. Overstimulation - a child that looks away or hiccupping
2. Tired - rubbing their eyes with their hands
3. Hungry - mouth movement like sucking
4. Pooping - looking angry or distressed

Crying: Our Infants’ Ancient Survival Tool

• During the first few months, babies cry out of instinct, not out of intention. Your one-month-old has no idea he’s sending you a message. (Location 412)
• You don’t have to worry that responding to his cries might teach bad habits. Limit setting only becomes important after around nine months. (Location 418)

The Dreaded Colic: a Crysis for the Whole Family

Colic is a never ending series of crying, usually stemming from a great pain from the digestive system, starts about two weeks after birth and stops at around three months. Sometimes we can't recognize that the baby's screaming is happening because of gases.

It's important not to neglect the child. Answer their call is how we build trust, love and a deep connection

The Dreaded Colic: A “CRYsis” for the Whole Family

• the predictable repetition of your loving response is the key to building your baby’s confidence. Quickly meeting your baby’s request to be held or fed—dozens of times a day—strengthens her trust in you. Inconsistency creates insecurity. (Location 557)

The top Five Colic Theories and why They're Mostly Wrong

How to reduce gases:

1. Feed baby standing up
2. If the baby is a noise eater, have breaks in feeding to let them burp
3. Bunch them a bit on your lap to let the gases loose

Sometimes stomach aches can be caused by diet. See if you consume those on a frequent basis and try to reduce and see what the effect it. The usual suspects are:

1. Citrus
2. Strawberry
3. Tomatoes
4. Beans
5. Cabbage
6. Broccoli
7. Cauliflower
8. Peppers
9. Onion
10. Garlic

Coffee gets to the breast about 4-6 hours after consumption

Avoid giving medication to your baby without consulting a doctor first.

It's not their personality or our anxiety that triggers these cases, although we should be sensitive to their needs, and know that they could be under or over stimulated, both can cause irritating behavior

The Top Five Colic Theories, and Why They’re (Mostly) Wrong

• your baby doesn’t want—or need—peace and quiet. Babies love monotonous repetition. (Location 875)

The True Cause of Colic, the Missing forth Semester

Babies are underdeveloped when they are born because of the size of their head. That's why they are also over stimulated much of the time because they still have a lot to develop, while they miss the safe environment of the womb. Reminder - before nine months there's no point in wandering whether a cry is a manipulation for attention, it is not.

The True Cause of Colic: The Missing Fourth Trimester

• Attachment psychology teaches that a rapid, loving response to a baby’s cries is the very foundation of strong family values. (Location 1099)
• Around nine months is the earliest time you should think about spoiling. Before that, nurturing your baby’s confidence is one hundred times more important than pushing him to be independent. (Location 1103)

The Ancient Art of Soothing a Baby

The Fourth Trimester

Babies develop so much within the first few months, they turn from fitus to a "human-like" baby.

The Key to Happy Babies: the Calming Reflex

Babies are born with some innate reflexes, some date back to our time as apes. They include:

1. Mouth orientation - when we press near the lips, the baby would move towards the pressure, as if it is a nipple it's trying to locate. Only happens when they are hungry
2. Grappling - when it feels something in it's hand, the baby will close it's grip
3. Moro - when the baby feels like it's falling (which also can happen while lying on their back) it will expand its hand's as if trying to hug something

The key reflex is the calming reflex which involves imitating the womb:

1. Swaddling - wrapping them which imitates the boarders of the womb. The baby might resist at first, but it's most likely distress from the freedom it had, not the swaddling
2. Side stomach - lying them on their side or stomach can reduce the Moro reflex (isn't allowed for sleeping)
3. Shushing - strong white noise like a vacuum cleaner can imitate the sound of the blood flowing in the womb. You can "shush" him right next to the ear so that would be loud enough
4. Swinging - gentle moves back and forth for an inch imitates the movement they had in the womb
5. Sucking - using a pacifier or the nipple would "lock in" the calming reflex

The first 2 S's create the groundwork for calming down, the other 2 brings calmness and the last one makes it long lasting. The effects should be almost instantaneously, but might need to be done for a while in order for it to sink in and avoid a "relapse".

Swaddling

Swaddling is also effective for sleep and the reduction of the risk of SIDS because it reduces the chance of them flipping during the night.

Swaddling is even more crucial in the period of 2-4 months, and can (and should) be stopped afterwards.

There are many recommend methods, but the author uses the DUDU (down up down up) method. Important notes for swaddling:

1. The arms should be straight (not bent) and next to the body
2. The wrapping should be tight, especially in the arms, but the legs should be able to bend at the knee
3. Keep the blanket away from the face, it could trigger a false hunger sensation
4. Swaddling shouldn't be a whole day thing. Only for sleeping and crying (12 hours max)

Swaddling increases focus and learning because in those early months the hands are mostly a distraction.

link

Side Stomach

It reduces their Moro reflex, and calms them down. You can hold them on their side or belly on your hand like a football.

Shushing

This sound of "shush" triggers us to calm down like an angry librarian. It is similar to the mix of sounds we hear in the womb. When the baby cries, go for a strong shush right next to their ear. Then as they calm down switch to a more gentler one. As opposed to what we are used to as adults, infants are used to noise and sleep much better with it. The advantage of white noise in general is that we can use it to piggyback on the calming reflex and turn it into a sleeping habit. For example, playing white noises during the first few months will lock those noises as sleep inducing which you could use to help them sleep better throughout the first year. You should use those noises every night for the whole night. Keep sound at 60-65 decibel max (measure with phone app)max (measure with phone app)

Swinging

Short rapid swinging can calm a baby, and once they are calm you can reduce the speed. Be careful not to shake the baby. Neck and head must be in rhythm with the body to avoid whiplash. A baby swing is another good alternative

Sucking

Sucking is one of the most basic habits of the baby because this is their method of survival, no wonders it is so good at calming them down.

Important notes about sucking:

1. If you are breast feeding, don't use a pacifier until the breast feeding habit goes well
2. best to stop using a pacifier at around 6-7 months before we create emotional attachment
3. pacifier is great for sleeping
4. Pacifiers only work once the baby calms down, not useful mid screaming

The Cuddle Cure

Like food, everyone have different preferences. You need to learn which s's work best on your baby, in which combination and intensity.

Other Colic Remedies

Besides the 5 s's, don't forget to:

1. Massage your baby - link link
2. talk a walk outside with the baby

The Magical 6th S: Sleep

Sleep is essential for adults and children alike. It takes time for a baby to adjust to night time routine, at least a few months.

Even then, babies sleep at 2-3 hours cycle at first, and can ramp up to 4-5 hours after a few months. Babies also have cycles of 1 hour instead of 1.5 for adults.

We can help babies sleep more by using sleep cues, and the best we have are the 5 S's. Swaddling and white noise especially, can add 45-60 minutes of sleep during the night, which could be life saving for the parents.

To help them learn to self sooth. Once they are fed and happy, even if they fall asleep in your lap, wake them gently when putting them in the crib so that they will learn how to fall asleep in the crib.