Finish
✒️ Note-Making
🔗Connect
⬆️Topic:: Goal Setting
💡Clarify
🔈 Summary of main ideas
- Perfectionism is a growth killer - Perfectionism is often the greatest enemy of finishing a project, because it sets an unreliable bar, it makes us fear failure, and it punishes us when we eventually fail.
- Cut your goal in half - Instead of trying to reach an impossible level and despair, try to reach a lower bar which will motivate you to do more. It's all about setting healthy expectations, use a friend if it's too difficult to do by your self.
- Ditch the trivial - You can't have it all or be good at everything. Ignore distractions, whether it's future goals, comfort zones, or side quests. Decide to focus your attention and time on what matters most.
- Make it fun - We think effort and pain are virtues, these are only setbacks to completion. Making it fun on the other hand brings a source of motivation, while also making the process easier and less annoying. Don't be limited by "stupid" rules on how it should be done.
🗒️Relate
⛓ by following this method, what will happen? What is the goal of this book? You will be able to achieve your goals and finish what you start
🔍Critique
✅ relevant research, metaphors or examples that helps to convey the argument
- Pull reward vs push reward - We might be pulled by the reward of finishing, or be pushed by the fear of incompletion
- Hiding places and noble obstacles - Forms of distractions. Hiding places are our comfort zones, while noble ovstacles are the excuses and side questions we do to delay working on what matters
❌ the logical jumps, holes or simply cases where it is wrong... His first example of things that could be cut are relationships, as if they could stand weeks, months or more where you repeatedly aren't available.
🧱 Implementations and limitations of it are... This book is a bit all over the place, as it tries to bundle up everything under the umbrella of fighting perfectionism. Sometimes the story becomes the main issue instead of the message it tries to convey.
🗨️Review
💭 my opinions on the book, the writers style... He is writing in a direct "down to earth" kind of way, sprinkled with a sense of humor. I wish more would write like that, and just for the writing I would have given it a 4.
Picturing perfectionism is the one and true enemy of all is an exaggeration, one that doesn't benefit the book.
🖼️Outline
📒 Notes
Introduction
Our problem is not that we don't know how to start; it's that we struggle to finish. We create grand plans and set ambitious goals, often completing a session or two, but we quickly stop well before reaching the finish line.
The main obstacle to finishing is Perfectionism. We must do whatever it takes to keep moving forward, which means lowering our standards, making the process enjoyable, using shortcuts, and taking small steps. Perfect is the enemy of good
- The less that people aimed for perfect, the more productive they became. (Location 105)
The Day After Perfect
Perfectionism leads to Binary Thinking, where we think, "It's either perfect and worth doing" or "not at all." We may skip our goals due to mistakes, circumstances, or choices, breaking our momentum and losing motivation to get back on track Rigid rules.
Even worse, when we stop working toward a goal, we often fall prey to the F-it effect. If we break our diet, we might think, "Why does it matter how much?" and proceed to empty the fridge.
Not only do we punish ourselves more when we fail, but we also raise the bar significantly for success. We adopt a go big or go home mentality; instead of aiming for a 5k, we want to run a marathon. It's not just about writing a blog; it's about turning it into a source of income.
- your goal will not be perfect. It crushes me to break this to you, but you will fail. Maybe a lot. Maybe right out of the gate. You might even trip over the starting line. That’s OK. (Location 173)
- developing tolerance for imperfection is the key factor in turning chronic starters into consistent finishers. (Location 181)
- The harder you try to be perfect, the less likely you’ll accomplish your goals. (Location 248)
Cut Your Goal in Half
We are often foolishly and naively optimistic when setting our goals, falling victim to planning fallacy. That's why you need to cut your goal in half.
It's all about adjusting our Expectations. When a goal is too big, we either fail to finish on time and become discouraged or complete it without any energy left. Goals are a marathon, not a sprint. By halving our goals, we increase our chances of success, creating Momentum to continue beyond the small goal and often past the original goal.
Either reduce the required amount or double the planned time.
- why 92 percent of people fail at their goals? Because we tend to set goals that are foolishly optimistic. (Location 286)
- Those two approaches, cutting the goal in half or doubling the timeline, can be applied to most goals. (Location 343)
Choose What to Bomb
We can't do it all. Perfectionism may convince us that it's possible, but the truth is that we will likely fail miserably, causing us to abandon even the things that are going well.
We must decide what not to do Triage and be completely okay with it, without any Shame.
We can either say no, even if we dislike doing so; it's important to stand our ground. Alternatively, we can simplify our tasks, opting for easier versions that require less time and effort, like ordering takeout instead of cooking.
- The only way to accomplish a new goal is to feed it your most valuable resource: time. And what we never like to admit is that you don’t just give time to something, you take it from something else. To be good at one thing you have to be bad at something else. Perfectionism’s third lie is: You can do it all. I’m here to tell you that you can’t. (Location 424)
- That’s the truly terrible part of trying too much. You don’t just drop the bonus item and carry on with your goal. You drop every ball you’re juggling when one gets out of sync, (Location 456)
Make It Fun If You Want It Done
We mistakenly believe that achievements are earned through sweat and tears, requiring Grit to overcome the suffering associated with completing a goal, like running to get in shape, adhering to a no pain no gain mentality.
However, fun is not the opposite of achievement; it's a requirement. Without fun, there is no motivation, and without motivation, there is no progress.
We can be motivated by pleasure or fear. Pleasure pulls us toward our goals, while fear pushes us away from undesirable outcomes push and pull. Identify what motivates you more. Temptation Bundling may work best for someone who is reward-oriented, while Commitment Devices may be more effective for those motivated by fear.
- “It is incorrect to believe that top athletes suffer great sacrifices to achieve their goals. Often, they don’t see what they do as sacrificial at all. They like (Location 686)
- Fun isn’t optional. It’s necessary if you’re going to kill perfectionism and make it through to done. (Location 689)
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Leave Your Hiding Places and Ignore Noble Obstacles
When perfectionism can't stop you, it Distracts you. Since you "know" you can't do it perfectly, you distract yourself with other activities. The first type is hiding places, where you know you can't mess up.
These can be pure distractions like Netflix or pseudo productivity activities like answering emails.
If you have to make creative excuses for why what you're doing is valuable, it probably isn't.
Identifying these distractions is the first step. The second is to eliminate them. We have limited energy, time, and money.
Typically, a new hiding place will emerge as a shiny idea just as you're about to start working on the old one. Don't fight the new idea; instead, use it to motivate yourself. Tell yourself that you will only move on to the next idea after finishing the current one.
Easy ways to identify noble obstacles include:
- Until - Sentences like "I can't start my blog until I've mastered editing."
- If then - Thinking in terms of "all or nothing," such as "If I lose weight, I'll have to buy new clothes, and I don't have the money."
While perfectionism pushes us to do above and beyond, we should strive to simplify. Consider how you can relax the problem.
- “It is incorrect to believe that top athletes suffer great sacrifices to achieve their goals. Often, they don’t see what they do as sacrificial at all. They like (Location 686)
- Fun isn’t optional. It’s necessary if you’re going to kill perfectionism and make it through to done. (Location 689)
Get Rid of Your Secret Rules
We carry biased perceptions about how we should act, adhering to rules that make our lives more difficult. Examples include "success must be earned with sweat and tears," "quitting is for losers," or "creativity should come naturally," as well as the belief that "easy is wrong," as if working smart instead of hard is cheating.
The problem with these rules is that they remain secret. It takes deep introspection to uncover them.
Once you've realized what holds you back, look around and copy what others are doing; learn from their experiences and wisdom.
After identifying these rules and finding techniques to replace them, you need to dismantle them. Create new (healthier) rules or affirmations to replace them.
- Finishing a goal you absolutely hate isn’t a win. (Location 1362)
Use Data to Celebrate Imperfect Progress
Without data, we cannot gauge our progress or determine how to improve. It's no wonder we give up before finishing.
Without data, we are like golfers in the dark. We can practice endlessly but not improve. Data provides us with Feedback, showing whether we are on track and what we can do better. It also offers context, revealing how we compare to the general average in our field, potentially motivating us even if our absolute results appear poor, as long as we are doing relatively well.
Data breaks our ability to deny reality. Data doesn't lie; it presents reality as it is. While it may seem discouraging, it's our wake-up call—a chance to see life as it is and improve rather than live in denial.
Data helps us reflect on how far we've come while also allowing us to measure our results by tracking inputs and outputs (like lead and lag measures).
If the data indicates that you're not making satisfactory progress, remember that you can always adjust:
- The goal
- The deadline
- Your actions
Use the data to discover your optimal working conditions.
- If you don’t review the progress, you can’t make adjustments. You can’t learn from mistakes. You can’t get better, and ultimately, you can’t finish. (Location 1532)
- If you don’t learn what makes you work best and repeat it, you’ll never get better. (Location 1923)
The Day Before Done
We sometimes fail to finish even when we are just inches away. The main reason is fear of what comes next. After completing something significant, we may wonder, "What now?" or "Why do I still feel empty inside?"
Another fear is receiving negative feedback on our work.
When we are deeply entrenched in our fears and unable to see the truth, we need a friend to help us gain perspective.
- Don’t let the fear of what’s next steal the joy of finishing what’s now. Don’t let perfectionism distract you with a fictional second goal when you’ve got a real one almost done. (Location 2110)
- We need friends during the entire goal, but they are most critical at the finish line. Go find one, and perhaps even more important, go be one. (Location 2143)