Be Water My Friend

✒️ Note-Making

🔗Connect

⬆️Topic:: Mindset (MOC)

💡Clarify

🔈 Summary of main ideas

1. Intercepting, not resisting - true strength and effectiveness comes not from forcefully resisting the world or fighting it to submission. Strength is in flexibility, in finding the best path forward based on the circumstances, like water that don't resist, yet flow with such force that they will find a way forward. Like aikido, doing as little as possible, while achieving so much. A state of harmony within us and with the world around us. A sense of oneness.
2. Develop your intuition - one can't choose the best response if they don't know what it is. We have to be mindful of our circumstances, to pay attention, to constantly learn, test and adapt such that we will know what the best response is in each situation
3. Clear your mind - judgment, biases, self doubt and confrontational thinking, all unhelpful while also take too much space in our mind. We have to empty the cup, so that it could be filled with the right mindset. To be humble, relax, to see the big picture
4. Connect with your resolve - obstacles will come, we will experience pain and hardships. It is only through connecting with what brings us life, our values, our mission, what makes us curious and enthusiastic that will carry us through the storm
5. There are no opponents - don't fall for win or lose mentality. Find the best way forward considering your strength and weaknesses, and of those around you. Remember that respect, kindness and compassion ripple and reflected back.

🗒️Relate

⛓ by following this method, what will happen? What is the goal of this book?

1. Be more active and engaged in the world, escaping default thinking
2. More effective in our actions, while also more flexible with our methods and mindset
3. Achieving harmony within ourselves and with the world around us

🔍Critique

✅ relevant research, metaphors or examples that helps to convey the argument

❌ the logical jumps, holes or simply cases where it is wrong... The whole philosophy is to flow with life, to find a way, your way of achieving your goals, to be as flexible as water, but at many points Bruce Lee was so determined on a goal that it came at a high cost or risk, confronting others, which goes against that philosophy.

🧱 Implementations and limitations of it are...

🗨️Review

💭 my opinions on the book, the writers style... The book inspired me to watch Bruce Lee movies, and it was wholesome and cool at times, but it was a bit lacking.

Since it was written by his daughter, there were both holes in the philosophy, or sections without a deep explanation, and it was a bit over focused on the man himself as a sort of eulegy, which shouldn't be the point of the book, his philosophy is.

🖼️Outline

📒 Notes

Introduction

As the daughter of Bruce Lee she wants to spread his philosophy, about Emotional Resilience is a matter of Flexability. Of being like water, soft yet powerful, adaptive and consistent balance extremes.

Introduction

• “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” (Location 110)
• “People have to grow through skillful frustrations, otherwise they have no incentive to develop their own means and ways of coping with the world.” (Location 123)
• Do not be tense, but ready; not thinking, but not dreaming; not being set, but flexible. It is being wholly and quietly alive, aware, and alert; ready for whatever may come.… (Location 145)

The Water way

Water is both unstoppable, yet it doesn't resist, it flows, it finds its way around, the way of least resistance to complete its goals Friction. By not resisting (or not "doing"), it is the most powerful thing there is Wu wei. It creates canyons, uses the smallest holes to continue its journey, and fits into every container.

How can we be like water?

First you must have attention, which is the combination of Self-awareness and mindfulness. If we are "shut off", acting without thinking and without paying attention to our environment, we are fighting a losing battle.

To pick the best response, we first have to know what it is, which means we have to be aware of what is happening both externally and within us mindsight.

Next, we must have flexibility. A rigid tree will be broken when the wind comes, yet the soft tree will bend and survive. Flexibility is required because nothing is ever the same, so there's no logic in responding in the same way. The only constant is change life is change.

We have to be both relaxed and ready for action. To be engaged with the world.

We also can't fight ourselves, we have to live authentically, to be true to ourselves, to pursue self-actualization.

The Water Way

• “Never assert yourself against nature,” he told him. “Never be in frontal opposition to any problem, but control it by swinging with it.” (Location 190)
• in order to control myself, I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature. (Location 207)
• To be like water, then, is to realize your most whole, natural, and actualized self where you are living as much as possible in the slipstream of life as you forge your own path forward. (Location 220)
• If I am paying attention, then I can see what’s happening all around and within me, and only then am I free to choose how I want to participate. You can’t choose a response if you can’t even see that there are choices to be made. (Location 284)
• To be like water is to adapt in response to your environment (Location 339)
• The complexity of life means that every single moment, situation and challenge is new, maybe only slightly so, but still worthy of your presence and pliability nonetheless. (Location 357)
• To be like water is to be engaged in a process of discovering and then embodying our most real and true selves. (Location 427)

The Empty Cup

In order to learn, to change, to adapt, we have to stay clear from judgment, to view the world with clear eyes and mind Objectivism.

To have Humility, knowing that you don't always know everything there's to know, that you might be wrong, and above all else avoid Binary Thinking.

We need to Zoom out, to see ourselves as an external observer, not get trapped in our heads, our judgment, or our emotions, to just notice things as they are.

When we judge, we are not present, when our mind is filled with thoughts, we are not present. When we are filled with wishful thinking or preconceived plans on how things should go, we are not present.

These actions are Crowding Out our ability to be aware.

We're not trying to silence our mind, that only gives greater power to our thoughts, we simply have to notice them.

It doesn't mean we won't get angry, but we could become better at returning quickly to calmness, to let the emotions inform you without being "sticky" in your being.

Meditation Can help us be calm, by letting our thoughts be, just noticing them as they pass by without us forcing ourselves to do anything, we recharge our mind will strengthen our ability to focus.

The Empty Cup

• Make room for the possibility that maybe you don’t already know all of what you believe to be true—that what you believe is, in fact, a work in progress, capable of changing and evolving as you learn and grow. (Location 495)
• The notion of emptying your cup is the idea of letting go of the past and the future in favor of the present. (Location 631)
• It is to feel them, acknowledge them, and work with them—to understand what they are trying to tell you about you, about the situation—to let them show you where there is more work to be done without letting them overwhelm, unbalance, or trap you. They have information for you. Take the information, say thank you, and keep going. (Location 710)

The Eternal Student

It's important to keep on learning. Life will continue to surprise you, and to adapt you must learn how to adapt. That's why it's important to constantly Experiment with new methods, seeing how you can continue to improve.

Besides looking outwards, we should also look inwards. Self Reflection is essential because otherwise, we can't know when we are being authentic or falling prey to our Ego. We have the responsibility of setting our path, one of our choosing, and not forced upon us by biases, ignorance, or inaction.

Understand where your emotions are coming from, why people treat you the way you do, which subtle forces try to influence your behavior, and what drives your actions.

It will be uncomfortable, but these are exactly the issues that you must resolve.

Learning is a never-ending process, as is self-improvement, so continue to explore your inner world.

The Eternal Student

• “Research your own experience. Reject what is useless. Accept what is useful. And add what is essentially your own.” (Location 906)
• Don’t give up your sovereignty or personal power. Claim your path and your own experience. Be respectful and grateful for the signposts you encounter, the lessons you learn, and the teachers who point the way, but remember that you and you alone are responsible for your path and your growth. (Location 918)
• You have to be willing to look at the problematic pieces. If you won’t look, and look deeply, then you will never discover an important layer of yourself—a layer that may be holding you back or sabotaging you over and over again and blocking your healing and growth. (Location 1010)
• every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery that I can obtain. I dare not say that I have reached any state of achievement, for I am still learning, for learning is boundless! (Location 1135)

The Opponent

We should avoid a Competition mindset. In competition, we enter a "win" or "lose" mentality where we focus only on our opponent and on winning instead of ourselves. We focus on the drawbacks of others instead of self-improvement.

If you must compete, compete with yourself. Be better than who you were yesterday. Your experience, your behavior, your strengths and weaknesses are the only thing that matters.

Shame and Blame, whether internally or at others is not how we improve, we only need to pay attention, be curious, and non-judgmental, until we find the best path forward.

Our relationships are a mirror of our behavior. Instead of projecting blame onto others, or spiraling with crazy conspiracies on how everyone's out to get us, we can solve much of our problems by looking inwards. Have we set clear boundaries? Are we acting the way we don't want others to treat us? Do we have impossible standards that we are helplessly trying to enforce, or are we just ignoring the circumstances, like attributing malice where there's none Hanlon's Razor

Relationships are a back-and-forth movement, a reflection, a dance, a flow. By looking inward we understand ourselves better and learn to have clarity which allows us to flow with the energy we are given, instead of fighting back.

The Opponent

• We don’t need to shame ourselves or beat ourselves up in the process of making ourselves “better,” nor should we shame and blame others to make ourselves feel better. We need only observe, notice, and be curious about what is revealed through our responses and then choose how to move forward. (Location 1283)
• when I express my true self and move with the world rather than against it, then change becomes something to flow with rather than resist. (Location 1444)

The Tools

1. Take aim - find your Life's Mission, write it down, memorize it, and review it daily. It should reenergize you every time you read it, it is a combination of what you want to achieve and why, a mission that resonates with your values. Make sure you make it clear, actionable and measurable
2. Take action- goals are meaningless if we do nothing to pursue them. We must be proactive, to avoid Analysis paralysis and take action. We can Start Small just to get Momentum, because momentum is all that matters. Keep going, keep doing, don't stop for nothing. Action will also lead to improvement practice beats talent.
3. Affirm - review daily your core values and the description of the person you wish to be. By affirming it, you can reframe the experiences in your life in a new light, one that promotes you towards the person you wish to become. Like adding a "yet" when you say "I can't do it" Optimism fake it till you make it
4. Be symbolic - Create symbols that will remind you of the person you wish to become, which could be a memento, a tattoo, a printed prayer, a drawing, or whatever you like. It will cement the person you want to become and will help you maintain your commitment to becoming that person.
5. Journal - Write about your thoughts, your experiences, and your values. It will help you gain clarity Journaling.
6. Get physical - do some form of fitness. It will help you connect with your body, it is part of who you are, and if left ignored it will backfire. It is a way to bring harmony to oneself.

These tools are only a partial list designed to help us progress in the endless process of self-improvement.

The Tools

• you energize your goal by letting it re-excite you every time you think about it. This goal should rev you up. It should make your heart beat a little faster or make your imagination soar. So every time you come back to it, reengage with that feeling of enthusiasm for it. Rejoice in the dream. And then use that ignited feeling to energize you along the path that will get you there. (Location 1542)
• why wait for something that may never come if you may be able to manifest it yourself? And how will you know if you could have manifested it yourself if you never even try? (Location 1587)
• Every moment is a new moment to pick it back up and start again. (Location 1622)
• By creating a physically manifested symbol of your revelation, you are, in a way, making an agreement or a statement to be reminded of your new perspective every time you see it. (Location 1705)
• In order to grow and change, we have to experience discomfort. (Location 1792)
• Life is a process, not a goal; a means but not an end; a constant movement rather than an established pattern. (Location 1820)

The Obstacle

Obstacles will come, it's not a matter of if, but when. It will bring you down, not all obstacles you can surpass with ease. The question therefore is what do you do when you're down? Do you surrender to Helplessness, focused on your pain, on whose to blame, or falling into despair, or do you keep on walking, choosing how to react, being strong in the face of it, being stronger for it?

Whether obstacles are stepping stones or stumbling blocks, it's our choice.

Obstacles are not easily defeated, it takes Patience, waiting for the right moment to strike, Timing is key. We have limited willpower, and we have to use it wisely before it is depleted.

The Obstacle

• in every big thing or achievement there are always obstacles, big or small, and the reaction one shows to such obstacles is what counts, not the obstacle itself. (Location 1845)
• Defeat simply tells me that something is wrong in my doing; it is a path leading to success and truth. (Location 1904)
• Realize that you are powerful. Don’t give your agency to others or to negativity or to circumstance. Don’t hinder your abilities. (Location 1980)

The Rainstorm

If you're suffering, if you're deep in depression, getting out of it seems impossible, like climbing up a big pit without handles, light barely visible.

Logic can't rescue us, as unhelpful as it sounds, we have to choose to take a Leap Into Faith, trusting ourselves, that we will be able to survive this, that better days will come. Although Life is pain, suffering is our choice, we choose to prolong the pain after the damage was already done.

Our enthusiasm should guide us through the hard times, providing the necessary Intrinsic Motivationto go on

The Rainstorm

• who you are is the person who finds their way through the storm by being with it and seeking a path to the other side of it, even if it’s on your hands and knees. You are the person whose soul can learn to rise no matter how long it takes. That’s who you are. Don’t forget it. (Location 2221)
• Come to the realization that you hold a great creative and spiritual force in your hand. That force is you. And you are yours to direct and grow and create. That force is your potential waiting for discovery. It is the light that will lead you out of the darkness. (Location 2304)
• The Living Void (Location 2318)
• We want the skill of understanding—having looked at and learned from our past experiences so that we can bring what wisdom we have attained to the situation. And we want the skill of spontaneity—being able to act in our best interest with full naturalness and immediacy, without being bogged down by too much thought. (Location 2470)
• the image of someone who valiantly takes on whatever life throws at them with grace and determination, someone who doesn’t turn away from a challenge or from acknowledging their own shortcomings, someone who doesn’t seek just an ideal image but rather an ideal soul. That’s a modern-day warrior and a hero. (Location 2612)

The Living Void

One should aspire to become thoughtless, a living void, one that is in constant flow with the surroundings as if there is no separation between the two, you are one, merged, immersed. You don't have to think about how to react, you just do it instantly and effortlessly, like raising your hand Intuition.

Being thoughtless necessarily comes after we have fixed our attention and actions after we have cleared ourselves from judgment and bias. Those who mindlessly follow their desires are not a living void.

Becoming a void is usually a question of subtraction rather than adding skills. We need to take apart our ego, our biases, and our overthinking. Worrying replaces action. By doing we worry less, which means we are more in flow.

The way of Intercepting Fist

Once we have achieved being a living void, it is time to develop the last stage. To maintain our Oneness with life, yet somehow, magically, imbue it with our being. To be our true self, nothing more, nothing less. There are no two identical copies in this world, you can't imitate your way into stage four, no system to adapt, it is about finding your way, embracing, and connecting yourself to life itself.

In that place there's no worry or fear or pain, only life and action. The mind has no room for second-guessing or doubt. Only a sense of enthusiasm and aliveness Will to Power

The Way of the Intercepting Fist

• we are the secret ingredient that makes the void live through us. (Location 2652)
• when we know ourselves and accept ourselves, we have attained a certain peace with ourselves. We harbor no qualms; we are being real. There is peace to that security, and the authentic power we generate stems from this. We are able to act and encounter the unknowns of life from this place of absoluteness, from the vast quiet and infinity of space. (Location 2798)

My Friend

The last piece of the puzzle is to remember that we are not alone. We are all one family of humankind. That Altruism and Empathy are core aspects of our being, and we should cultivate them as well.

It might not be easy with strangers or our opponents, but same as the unity of us and reality, we should be one with others as well. Being our true self goes through kindness and compassion, through communication and harmony, not through competition and confrontational thoughts.

The way we treat others affects how we treat ourselves and our close relationships, the separation of friend and foe is a blurry line, one that eventually will get crossed. If we hate our opponents, we will eventually hate ourselves and our friends.

Seeing with clarity means also seeing others as they are, without racism or judgment, without Stereotypes. From inner clarity, we will be able to bridge the gap with others.

From hardships, we will grow stronger, and better Emotional Aikido.

Don't fall for Future disillusionment, life is happening now. Do what you can with it, live it as you see fit, have no regrets, and be your full authentic self transcendence.

My Friend

• Fighting hate with hate only increases the amount of hate in the world. (Location 2987)
• In your everyday life, give people the benefit of the doubt, treat them with compassion, accept them for who they are, and live and let live while being the light and the model for what it is to be strongly and unapologetically kind. (Location 2989)

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